We can't fix all that is broken, but ...

 

As I hope everyone knows by now, our social justice team decided to act on the multiple issues of domestic abuse. "Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another in an intimate relationship.  This control is established through fear, the use of physical and emotional violence and or other forms of abuse.  Relationships involving domestic violence may differ in terms of severity, but control is the primary goal."  (Department of Children and Families definition)

About a month ago Eve Tapper and Margie Ross Decter organized a terrific meeting with Linda McMaster, from The Second Step, which fosters the safety, stability, and well-being of survivors of domestic violence, and Julie Youdovin, from Journey to Safety the domestic abuse program of Jewish Family & Children's Service. Our speakers spelled out the tragic dimensions of this frightening, debilitating phenomenon. Domestic violence affects a quarter of American families and accounts for more than a third of visits to emergency rooms by women.

Let me be clear: we are making a commitment to the cause of social justice by actively working to help victims of domestic violence. This is not a once a year relationship. It will be an ongoing concern through which Beth Avodah works to make a difference in the greater community. We can't fix all that is broken, but we are forbidden to stand idly by while our neighbor bleeds; it's just that simple, and it's just that imperative.

I am currently talking with a number of professionals who support those affected by domestic violence. They are extraordinary people, and I am excited that TBA will be working with them. When we next meet, I will detail what their thoughts are about how we might best contribute to the cause. After reviewing this information, we can begin to develop our strategy for a successful campaign.

Our numbers have waned since we started. I hope you will commit to this endeavor. There will be many different opportunities to help, in small ways and in larger ways as well. Please step up with us. Perhaps domestic violence was not your first choice as a cause to adopt. But remember, ultimately this is about the greater good of social justice. We need you to succeed in this sacred cause.

Our next meeting: Tuesday, May 17 at 7 p.m.

Domestic Violence Educational Session has been Scheduled

During the High Holiday services, Rabbi Stern sounded the call to our congregation to start to take action on social justice issues.  As a result, the Social Justice Advisory Committee has been meeting since last October to discuss what we as a Temple community can do to advance social justice for everyone in a specifically Jewish way.  At its last meeting, the Advisory Committee chose to further explore possible actions related to the cause and effect of Domestic Violence.  

Please join the Advisory Committee for an educational session on Wednesday, March 16 at 7:00 p.m. to learn more about the problem of Domestic Violence in our community and ways in which our congregation may be able to help.  We are pleased that Sarah Perry and Linda McMaster from

The Second Step, Inc. and Elizabeth Schon Vainer and Julie Youdovin Journey to Safety will join us and facilitate a conversation about this problem.

This meeting is simply to learn more about the problem of domestic violence and related issues to help us formulate gather information necessary in order to present to TBA's Board for approval as a course of action.

Decision Made

It was meeting number three for the burgeoning TBA Social Justice team, and it was time to decide which cause from our all too long list of social injustices this group will take up.

Prior to this meeting, the group continued to rank the issues from our list that each of us felt passionate about. So as we started the meeting, our list of topics was already significantly narrowed to just a handful.  Most, if not everyone, agreed that any and all of the issues that made this final cut are worthwhile causes.  

The conversation then evolved to which of these topics offers this team and TBA the best chances of success - that is the best chance to affect good. We talked about which cause could interest or attract a cross section of the TBA community.  Which cause would be unifying and not divisive within the congregation. Which cause is broad enough that many of us can engage in support, yet focused enough that our intent is clear.  

Through mutual respect, listening to one another, and honest dialogue, we made a decision.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 

• Every nine seconds a woman is assaulted or beaten in the United States.
• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.
• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
• The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.
• Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidalbehavior. 

Furthermore, it is critically important for us to understand that Jews are not immune to this crisis. According to the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse "Domestic abuse occurs in Jewish families at about the same rate as in the general community - about 15% - and the abuse takes place among all branches of Judaism and at all socio-economic levels. Studies show that abuse occurs in every denomination of Judaism in equal percentages, and we see abuse in all communities including the unaffiliated." 

The TBA Social Justice team has decided to focus on issues of domestic violence.  We plan on learning more about this abuse by inviting experts to talk with us at an upcoming meeting.  Our aim is to approach the Temple Board with a program of activities addressing this issue. 

We are ready to roll up our sleeves and get to work. We hope you will join the fight against this devastating injustice that  impacts our nation, our state, our towns, and most likely ... our TBA family.

Rabbi Keith Stern

By Jeff Tarmy.

So here is the challenge: write an article about a TBA Social Justice Team meeting and not make it sound like meeting notes.  Okay, let's give it a shot.

Our second meeting started with our fearless facilitator, Rabbi Stern, reading a passage from Alice Walker: "It was June Jordan who wrote 'We are the one we have been waiting for.' We are the ones we've been waiting for because we are able to see what is happening with much greater awareness than our parents or grandparents, or ancestors could see."  With the intent of helping us see the opportunity in front of us, the Rabbi's reading was met a range of reactions, from overt head nods to quiet anticipation.

In these formative stages of the Social Justice Team, we are sifting through brainstormed lists of social injustices that exists in our world - lists that are all too long.  I think we have two early goals.  The first is to identify a single issue that this team to engage.  And just as importantly, the second goal is to  build a shared vision of what kinds of activities are doable and how impactful those activities may be. 

The first goal is tough.  From violence to discrimination to inequalities, there are so many potential topics that need more of society's attention and action.  How can we possibly narrow our focus to one issue?  The task seems daunting, but Rabbi Stern has a process.  We brainstorm topics then we each individually or with family members evaluate and rank these based our own perceptions of which issues we think are important and which issues we think we can make a difference.  Fulfilling this goal spurs thoughtful discussion where everyone is heard (by the way, it is not late for more voices to be heard if you can join the next meeting).   

Our second goal, creating a shared vision for what this Social Justice Team can do, is equally challenging but in a different way.  This discussion revolves around the desire to create realistic, measureable and achievable objectives.  Understandably it is hard to create objectives when we don't know our issue yet.  On the other hand, we are asked to evaluate these issues with a lens that asks us what can we be successful without yet defining what success is.  This time we had thoughtful conversation on what 'doability' means.

So after two meetings, the TBA Social Justice Team finds itself on a journey.  Deciding what the Social Justice Team want to do will take patience, openness, discussion and resolve.  Whether we identify an issue that affects people on an individual by individual basis or an issue that impacts an entire community, it is clear that this team and this congregation has an exciting and awesome opportunity to make a difference. 

 For those who have attended these meetings, I hope you too will share your thoughts.  For those who have yet to attend, I hope you will share your thoughts as well.  Leave your comments and advance our dialogue.